FROM WEEPING TO WALKING!

DISCLAIMER: IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM DO I WANT TO DISCOURAGE ANYONE FROM SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP (THERAPY ETC.) IF ANYTHING I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOOK INTO IT REMEMBER THOUGH SEEKING HELP IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP MAKE SURE ITS TRULY WHAT YOU WANT AND THAT YOUR READY FOR A POSITIVE CHANGE #MENTALHEALTHMATTERS

Hay butterflies so the last few days have been real for me ; and as much as i wanna come on here and continue giving you tips and love and light that isn't the everyday reality for me. I want to express my truth and be transparent with you all and if that isn't for you I understand please proceed to leave but , the one’s that care to listen please feel free to stay. As many of you know by now i am a spiritual being and this sh*t gets real. Once you take the step forward into discovering the truth about yourself and the world around you it's really hard to step back. Believe me! I've tried to ignore the signs and synchronicities, I've tried to turn a blind eye to knowledge, I've tried to ignore the frequencies(god ,the universe ,angels , ancestors ,spiritual guides ,source) messages for me , I've tried falling back into old habits even if they made me uncomfortable and i knew. The honest truth is once you step in you can't get out. This world, this lifestyle isn't meant for everyone and it has humbled me in more than one way. Has blessed me and open my mind up to so many things that people casually joke about or make you feel like isn't the normal and yes that sh*t is irritating. But Truth be told, you'll be given the power to overcome so much. You'll discover strength in yourself you never even knew you had. This past week has been hard. I've been dealing with creators' block and I'm my own worst critic so of course what i put out i want to make sure it's me and that people can relate. I was starting to feel like maybe I've lost my passion behind all the things I once desired to do in life. The funny thing about that is lately I feel as if the frequency has pushed me into a chair to be present in my own life to realize how much certain things matter to me so here's the definition of passion( inserted at the bottom). I’ve re-watched this great message by Sarah Jakes and she just gets me every time. Every time i'm in a season it's like the message appears in my head when i need it most right when i feel like f*ck it i might as well give up. The problem with being a spiritual being is that you’ll always have passion you just have to be able to identify what in life are you willing to be passionate for.I want to share a story with you all in 2021 i was going through a really hard time and i mean i didn't even realize how hard it was until i made it out of it tbh things are just now starting to look up for me . So in 2021 I was happy I was going to therapy. I was in my own apartment by myself for the first time and had an amazing job. My friendships were thriving. Your girl even had love in her life or for what i thought love to be at that time . The people in my life were extremely happy and so I put on the front that I was too ,to the media for my friends, for my family, for my love, hell sometimes even myself. I do not want anyone to be scared about the next thing i'm about to say but god woke me up hell he shook me. Things started happening. I got laid off , lost my job. I didn't find another job until a few months later. I literally door dash to make ends meet or did whatever I needed to do to survive. My apartment complex tried evicting me several times. My love life was rocky ,up one minute down the next and I was literally trying to put all of myself into that. It eventually ended and it was not pretty. My family grew distant, my grandmother passed away. I lost my therapist, my friends, they were not there for me how I needed them. I felt extremely alone, and abandoned. I looked up and everything i had dreamed and prayed for, worked for just like that it was gone. My love, my job, my friends ,My abundance, my creativity ,my passion all gone. I’ts took me so long to realize it but it has given me a chance to sit the f down and look at life differently; because i was getting off track putting to much faith in people and materials more than god. Abusing drugs, alcohol ,and my body. I was not using my light in the way God needed me to. You know that saying “you never know how much you love something until you lose it”. Well god did that to me. i lost myself. I abused my power, i abused my time, and i abused my purpose. I wasn't grateful enough i didn't care enough hell i didn't even dem my life with a purpose of living until 2022.I know this sounds like some crazy testimonial bs man but i mean this god changed my life man. God gave me purpose, again he opened my eyes he help me release myself from the things that were holding me hostage. And I've been so scared to share this story because of how people will react. That's part of the reason those past things happened to me anyway , because I believed in their opinions more than I had faith in god. My faith has slowly started to restore. My passion is starting to arise . My true friends have shown themselves. My family has been connected, and I don't have a great love with a partner but definitely a new found passionate love within myself. Which is so much better than neglecting myself. I’ve found peace in new ways ,i’ve discovered new habits i have and new things i like. I’ve become healthy like literally i do not know how that happened lol ; i've lost weight that i've been saying i wanted to lose for years. I’m eating better tastier foods, I have healthy regimens in my life like yoga and self care everyday not just once out of a 7 day week. I open myself to knowledge, I'm gentler with myself and the world. I still have my days now but for the most part the things i used to get angry about or scream to the top of my lungs about i don't anymore. I remove people who don’t belong with ease and thank the frequency while doing it. I hate to be a cliche and say it but babe things do get better. It's all about the red pill or the blue pill if you know what i mean. Choose to believe butterflies, choose yourself ,choose life with purpose instead of a life without it. I don't know if sharing this will help anyone but I truly hope you all take something from my vulnerability and my lessons from life. and that if you take nothing at all from this at least take this. Sometimes you have to slow down your life to really see if the everyday things your doing are even making you happy. See if the people in your life are really supposed to be there. Have faith in god before god has to show you what life is like without source. Choose faith over fear, love over hate and fulfill your life purpose you are not here t constantly work and never enjoy life its tie for a change its tie to evaluate your life. Don't be like that hard head kid that had go learn sh*t the hard way. Just take the advice and make life a little easier for your self . And i wish you all the best butterflies And I do recommend that if you feel this, watch the video link below from Sarah Jakes she’ll just confirm it all even more! Most of all don't forget to give yourself grace!

pas·sion

/ˈpaSH(ə)n/

noun

• the suffering

VIDEO LINK:

From Weeping to Walking | Sarah Jakes Roberts